Infertility can feel like one of life’s most unfair and invisible battles. At times, it can be emotionally exhausting, physically demanding, and mentally overwhelming. The tests, the appointments, the ups and downs—it’s a lot. Whether having kids was always part of the plan or something you only recently felt ready for, finding out it might be harder than expected can affect you in ways you didn’t see coming. Disappointment, anxiety, even anger; it’s okay to feel all of it. This journey asks a lot of you, and you are not alone.
According to the World Health Organization, infertility affects one in six people globally. It’s far more common than most people realize—and yet, it often feels like something you’re going through alone. In fact, RESOLVE: The National Infertility Foundation recently surveyed infertility patients to find that more than 39% of them say they didn’t know how lonely navigating infertility would be. Meanwhile, 42% of Americans have either undergone fertility treatment themselves or know someone who has.
These numbers tell a powerful story: infertility is happening all around us, even if it’s rarely spoken about. Whether you’re just starting to try to grow your family or have been on this path for some time, it’s okay to not know what’s next. We created this step-by-step guide to help you move forward with clarity, confidence, and careful consideration.
1. Start by seeing your OB-GYN or primary care doctor
Before heading straight to a fertility clinic, start with someone who already knows your medical history, like your OB-GYN or primary care provider. They can run initial tests, review your menstrual cycle history, talk through any symptoms (like irregular periods or pelvic pain), and help you understand when and how to escalate your care.
If you’re seeing any other specialists, like a cardiologist or medical endocrinologist, make sure to keep them in the loop to help ensure you're making the best decisions for your overall health.
Before your appointment, take time to gather any relevant medical records—past test results, surgical history, menstrual tracking, and partner information (if applicable). This will give your doctor a clearer picture and help streamline next steps.
2. Learn the basics and write down your questions
Understanding how fertility works can make a huge difference in how empowered you feel throughout this journey. Start by doing some high-level research to learn the basics about ovulation, egg and sperm health, hormones, cycle timing, and whatever else you’re curious about. Be sure to write down any questions you may have as they come up. No question is too small or silly. This is your body and your journey.
Some examples:
What tests do you recommend for me based on my symptoms or history?
What are the possible treatment options for my situation?
What do success rates look like for someone like me?
Who would actually be performing my procedures?
Is there anything I can do on my own—like diet, exercise, or supplements—to support my fertility?
3. Know when to seek help
There’s no “perfect” time to involve a fertility specialist—just the time that feels right for you. For some, that’s after months of trying with no answers. For others, it’s earlier, based on your family or medical history. If you feel like you need more clarity, consider scheduling a consultation with a reproductive endocrinologist (REI). These are doctors who specialize in fertility and can help assess your reproductive health, walk you through possible next steps, and tailor a plan to your specific goals.
The standard guidelines for when to seek help from an REI are:
If you are under 35: after 12 months of trying to conceive
If you are 35 and older: after 6 months of trying to conceive
*Some doctors suggest starting your journey to parenthood with a fertility assessment if you are 40 years old or older.
When you’re ready, look for a fertility clinic that’s a good fit for your needs. Some things you might want to consider are the clinic’s success rates, patient reviews, insurance compatibility, and how the team makes you feel. This is also when you'll start to explore treatment options, which may include medications, IUI (intrauterine insemination), IVF (in vitro fertilization), or donor eggs or sperm.
4. Begin fertility testing
Fertility testing lays the foundation for your next steps. It helps uncover what’s working well, what might need support, and what treatment options might be most effective for you. Common tests may include:
Bloodwork – including hormones like AMH, FSH, LH, estrogen, progesterone, and thyroid levels
Transvaginal ultrasound – to look at your ovaries, uterus, and how many follicles you have (a.k.a. your antral follicle count)
Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) – a special type of X-ray that checks whether your fallopian tubes are open
Semen analysis – for your partner (if applicable), to evaluate sperm count, motility, and morphology
Genetic carrier screening – special bloodwork to identify if you or your partner carry inherited conditions that could affect a future pregnancy
Uterine evaluation – like a saline sonogram (SIS) or hysteroscopy to assess for fibroids, polyps, or structural issues
While testing can feel intimidating, it ultimately helps create your fertility roadmap. These results help your provider craft a treatment plan that’s personalized, proactive, and grounded in real information about your body.
Male factor infertility is more common than you might think. Male factor infertility is the primary cause of 30% of infertility cases and is a contributing factor in an additional 20% of cases. That means male factor infertility contributes to half of all infertility cases. That’s why a semen analysis is often one of the first (and easiest) tests to complete when evaluating fertility.
5. Track your treatments (and everything else)
Once you begin testing or treatment, the logistics can be overwhelming. From daily injections and cycle day tracking to appointments and outcomes, there’s a lot to keep tabs on.
That’s where Berry comes in. Our app was built to make this process easier to navigate. With Berry, you can:
Get a clear overview of your treatment
Organize meds and dosing with simple instructions and helpful how-tos
Stay on top of appointments, dosage reminders, ultrasounds, and more
Learn what symptoms to expect and get helpful, stage-specific guidance
Log how you’re feeling, track your labs, and bring better insights to your care team
📲 Download the Berry app to stay organized, feel more in control, and navigate your fertility journey with confidence and clarity—every step of the way. Available on iOS and Android .
6. Build your support system
A strong support system during this process is so important. Whether it’s a partner, a best friend, a parent, a support group, or an online community, surround yourself with people who can hold space for you during this time. If you have a partner, consider bringing them to your initial consultations—those early appointments can feel especially emotional, and having someone by your side can make all the difference.
The Berry app allows you to share your treatment with your support system. Treatment sharing makes it possible to keep others in the loop about your appointments, medications, and procedures and gives them access to all of the relevant resources. Treatment sharing helps everyone understand what you’re going through, so you’re never alone in the process. You can share your treatment in the Berry app under the Treatments tab.
And if it ever feels like too much to carry alone, therapy can be an incredibly powerful resource. Many therapists specialize in reproductive mental health and can help you process everything from grief and anxiety to hope and decision-making. Above all, know that asking for support, whether from a partner, friend, or therapist is not a sign of weakness—it’s an act of strength.
You’ve got this. Really.
Starting, or restarting, a fertility journey takes strength, vulnerability, and courage. It’s not always linear, and it’s rarely easy. But step by step, you will find your footing. And with the right tools, support, and community behind you, you don’t have to do it alone.